Dear Men:
It may come as quite a surprise to you to hear this. It may even sting a little. It shouldn't.
There are some places where I fully expect to be hit on (for example, at the bar). I put up with it. Sometimes, I may even enjoy it. I consider the free drinks you buy me payment for the annoyance I deal with. I will (almost) always accept a free drink. Your efforts, while usually not reciprocated, have not gone unnoticed.
However, putting up with getting hit on at a bar is quite different from being harassed in other places. You should be aware that just because I'm female and have boobs doesn't mean that you are allowed to harass me and annoy the fuck out of me wherever I am, and no matter what I am doing. There are some things that should remain sacred.
I know it may be difficult to resist making comments to me while I'm running. I'm sure there's just something about a young woman drenched from head to toe in sweat, hair dripping, breathing heavily and with a face the color of a ripe tomato that you find irresistible. I can only imagine how hard it is for you to hold back when you see me running past in an over-sized sweat stained t-shirt. I sympathize. I really do.
Please, men. I put up with your shit at work. I put up with it at school. I put up with it when I'm driving, and when I'm eating, and when I buy my coffee. I have learned to be prepared when I go to the bar to be approached at least once, usually more. At this point, I pretty much expect it. All women do. But for the LOVE OF GOD, please leave me the fuck alone when I'm running.
Love,
Me
P.S. The next guy who harasses me when I'm running is getting kicked in the balls. Consider that your warning.
You should submit this to Hollaback DC (http://hollabackdc.wordpress.com/). :)
ReplyDeleteThis is the first time I have seen this blog.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post, Sara! In addition to Hollaback DC you should also send it to the main Hollaback site (http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/), Hollaback Charleston http://hollabackcharleston.blogspot.com/) and to other feminist, anti-rape and anti-harassment blogs.
BTW, are you attending our feminist event on September 14, 2010? It is called National Kick Any Man in the Balls Who Touches Your Chest Without Your Consent Day.
Thanks, you two! I'll consider submitting it to the sites you've mentioned. This was just a random rant; I didn't expect it to get much attention. I'm glad you both enjoyed it!
ReplyDeleteI can also cross post it on my blog Stop Street Harassment if you want. As a runner, I totally sympathize! Some of my worst harassment experiences have been while running. You may be interested in an op-ed I wrote about this: http://www.oregonlive.com/opinion/index.ssf/2010/05/women_runners_in_oregon_should.html (but many comments are tough to stomach) and these 2 articles about my research on harassment and women exercising: http://www.canada.com/health/Crime+rattled+women+taking+their+workouts+indoors+Study/3039475/story.html &
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thatsfit.com/2010/05/28/fear-harassment-and-running/
Hang in there
Thanks so much for the info and encouragement! I'll definitely visit those links and check them out. I usually don't read the comments on articles addressing these topics (specifically because they can be difficult to stomach), so I'll ignore them. I appreciate the warning!
ReplyDeleteI read your blog pretty regularly. If you think this post would be a good addition, I'd love for you to cross post it!
Thank you again!
Sure thing. Yes, it'd absolutely be a great addition! Do you want me to attribute it to "sararoxyoursox" and link to your blog? Is there a particular location you'd like me to list with it?
ReplyDelete(also sorry my username came up as admin in the first post. i am logged into my wordpress acct in which i'm admin!)
Attributing it to sararoxyoursox and linking it this blog address sounds perfect! If you need to list a particular location, I posted this after an incident in Santa Cruz, California (although I experienced it a lot when I lived other places as well, particularly in DC). Thank you so much! :)
ReplyDeleteSounds good. I'll post it tomorrow. Ugh, so sorry again about the harassment while running. One of my friends suggested blowing a bear horn in all of their faces and I'd love to just plow right into them. Or spray them with colored water in a squirt gun. Just something to make an impression on their minds that this is not cool and that they should stop!
ReplyDeleteThanks again! Street harassment is especially frustrating because it makes you feel so helpless, so it's so great to know that there are resources like your blog out there.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love the colored water idea. A squirt gun would be so easy to carry around while running, too... ;)
Here's a great song about street harassment...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0IHAE7PraVM
I run almost every day and I definately, definately HATE when this happens. I don't like to stop when I'm running and address the problem, but one time I wasn't running and I saw somebody harass a woman running, and I absolutely (f*cking) lost it on him. This occured at a gathering at a friend's house during college and I did indeed end up not only yelling, but also back handing said person. It.Felt.Wonderful. I really liked your letter which I saw at hollaback. And I just wanted to say that I've SO been there, and also that there are other women out there kicking (or back handing) men who harass women while running.
ReplyDelete